Wednesday 6 January 2016

5 Board games to buy your enemies.

If you're like me, there are two things that you have in abundance: board games and nemeses. Why not combine the two with my handy gift-buying guide?

  1.   CocoNuts






A delightful Korean export, Coconuts has all the strategic depth of tiddlywinks with the charming aesthetic of a Happy Meal free toy.  Using cheap plastic monkeys, players attempt to fling ‘coconuts’ into various baskets.

The real charm of the game lies in its eponymous drupes (apparently Coconuts aren’t actually nuts, which is one more reason to dislike this game).   As they are an important component for a children’s game, the time between the box being opened and them all becoming lost is inevitably 1.02 nanoseconds.  Tears and recriminations will follow.  Delightfully, this is only an incidental benefit.

Coconuts is a game that just keeps on giving.  The game’s general build quality hovers somewhere between a mid ‘90s Skoda and a drunkenly assembled Ikea wardrobe.  However, the ‘coconuts’ included in the game have been sculpted with exquisite care so as to resemble (and have the consistency of) something between a squashed chocolate raisin and a small lump of fecal matter.   Notwithstanding the joy of watching children using monkeys to throw shit at each other, the horror of discovering them trodden into the carpet over the next year is worth the price tag alone. 

Possibly the most evil thing to ever come out of the Korean Peninsula.

    2 Mouse Trap


This title’s main appeal is the arduous amount of time it takes to set up, combined with the infinitesimally brief moment of enjoyment children get from playing the game.  Gameplay involves hours of shuffling cheap components into place, followed by a fleeting glimpse of happiness before the drudge begins again. Mousetrap is either a shit board game or a Turner-prize worthy comment on contemporary working conditions. 

Happily, as well as the immediate inconvenience it provides, Mousetrap will also condition their children to take up roles in a Sports Direct distribution warehouse. 

Children are our future. Destroy them, destroy them all. 

3. Cards Against Humanity

For a brief period in the mid 2000's faux randomness became an acceptable proxy for a sense of humour. Cards Against Humanity is the spiritual continuation of this trend.  

It titles itself ‘a party game for horrible people’.  This is patently untrue.  I am horrible.  Most of my friends are horrible.  Cards Against Humanity is a party game for boring people.  It a book of ‘painting by numbers’ phalluses, Swedish flat-pack humour for the terminally short of brain cells. 

If you've ever used the term "ROFLCOPTER" this game is for you. You twat. 


4. X Wing

Like crack cocaine in your cappuccino, X-Wing is quite good but horribly addictive. 

After initial exposure the following symptoms typically present within 3 months:

1. Pointless debating online about when and if one can reroll a reroll. 

2. Buying ships THAT WERE NEVER IN THE FILMS, even stooping so far as to buy ones from animated series for CHILDREN.

3. Neck beard growth.

4. Financial ruin. 

5. Fedora purchasing. 

6. Fatal attempt to construct a 1:270 scale Death Star. 

5.  (F.A.T.A.L) From Another Time, Another Land


This roleplaying game has a strong claim on being the worst thing ever created by anyone, ever. On the second page of the character sheet listed alongside height and weight is the following key measurement: anal circumference potential.  Yes, potential: i.e. not anal circumference ‘at rest’.  What follows is all a ‘circumference table’ detailing the capacity of different races, ranging from a meagre 3” for an dwarf up to a monstrous 30” for an Ogre.

Perhaps most heinous of all, quadratic equations are a requirement of most game mechanics.




Saturday 10 January 2015

Best Board Games of 2014

Here's something I put together for work: a rundown of the best games of 2014 (NB not necessarily my opinions).  It is amusing at times.

Apologies for the lack of formatting: this is just a text dump.

GAME OF THE YEAR

The best games of 2014 according to Thirsty Meeples.
Concept
Concept has proved to be a huge hit in our café this year with new and old gamers alike. In Concept, like charades, you have convey ideas and words in silence. However, instead of using actions, you employ an army of tokens and a board populated with a variety of icons. Concept, like Dixit before it, falls into that tricky category of ‘difficult to categorise’ games. Part party game, part cerebral worker placement challenge, Concept eschews definition but has rightfully earned many plaudits.

Splendor
Splendor is a Renaissance themed fast-paced game of chip-collecting and card development in which players compete to become the most successful gem trader.
What we love about Splendor is the balance it strikes between structural simplicity and tactical depth. You may only take one action a turn, but puzzling out the best course of action can be fiendishly difficult. Run on the nobles, or power play for the big cards? Play proactively or defensively? Quick to teach, easy to learn and hard to master: what more could we ask from a game of the year nominee?

Five Tribes
A twist on the European style worker placement genre, Five Tribes confronts players with a board already populated by meeples which they must manipulate to seize control of Naqala. Like fellow Days of Wonder title Ticket to Ride, the rules are easy enough to pick up for even inexperienced gamers. However, devising a winning strategy is another matter altogether. Excelling in Five Tribes requires you not only to think of your own benefit, but also how to inconvenience others. In short: it is not enough that you should succeed. Others must fail. For this reason, Five Tribes rightly storms into our top 3 games this year.


BEST FAMILY GAME

The games that we felt had the widest appeal, with easy to pick-up game play and stacks of fun.
Black Fleet
Has your [insert relation here] been winding you up recently? What better way to even the odds than to pillage his trade routes and broadside his fleet?
Black fleet sees players control a small fleet of their own as they attempt to trade, pillage and battle their way to rescuing a maiden fair. Simple mechanics, coupled with a healthy variety of potential ship upgrades make Black Fleet quick to learn with plenty of replay value.

Camel Up
In Camel Up, up to eight players bet on five racing camels in a contest to be the richest at the race’s dramatic denouement.
Camel Up raised a few eyebrows when it bagged the Thirsties’ poorer cousin ‘Spiel Des Jahres’ earlier this year and it hasn’t made it to our very top table here. Nevertheless Camel Up is an outstanding family game. Fun to play? Check. Easy to teach? Check. Flexible numbers? Check (2-8). At £21 it won’t break the bank either.

Sushi Go!
Sushi Go sets players the task of grabbing the best combination of dishes from the sushi boat as they pass by. A clever but concise drafting game, Sushi Go requires players to think on their toes and provides the perfect gateway game to titles like 7 Wonders. If you’re growing increasingly frustrated with your nine year-old’s preference for Dobble over Twilight Imperium, Sushi Go! may be just the spark you need!. Here at Meeples we love it enough to even forgive its titular exclamation mark, notwithstanding the syntax issues it throws up for would be games reviewers.


BEST VISUAL GAME 

Eye candy is what drew us in - these three not only looked pretty but delivered solid game play too.
Abyss
Abyss is a game of card collection, combination and collection. It’s fun and playable in roughly one hour. So far so good. Yet, what really sets Abyss apart is the power of its artwork. From the grimacing Sea Lords which grace its five (yes five!) unique covers, to the cards players compete for, we were enraptured by the calibre of its artistic design. In fact we’d love to see more games follow Abyss’ lead in 2015 and marry great gameplay with quality artwork.

Steam Park
Steam Park is a beautifully crafted management game in which players compete to have the most successful amusement park. As the games title suggests there is a strong steam-punk theme to the game, albeit softened with the pastel palette of a children’s illustrator. By building the right balance of fantastic rides, toilets and stands, you’ll soon put your opponents out of business and ensure your cutesie-robot shareholders are happy. Steam Park may be filling your children’s minds with capitalist propaganda, but look: isn’t it pretty!

Origin
Origin is a well-balanced area control and set management game designed by Andrea Mainini. Players take control of tribes spreading outward from the heart of Africa, gradually growing more diverse over time while still maintaining links to their ancestors and all inhabitants of the earth. Isn’t that just lovely. Complementing these mechanics, the game’s components are wooden statues of all sizes reminiscent of sub-Saharan art. Between its enjoyable gameplay and high quality production, Origin is a must-have for anyone who owns (or has ever secretly desired) a dream catcher.


PARTY GAME OF THE YEAR 

Games that are quick to learn and super fun to play. We were spoilt last year.
Sheriff of Nottingham
In Sheriff of Nottingham players take on the role of merchants hoping to make a quick buck in the city during a royal visit. Competitors take it in turns to take on the role of the Sheriff himself, inspecting their rival’s goods and accepting bribes to turn the odd blind-eye. Sheriff of Nottingham may have more light strategy to it than the other titles included under Party Game of the Year, but don’t let that fool you – its core is all about social interaction and deception. One of our all-time favourites!

Ca$h n Guns (second edition)
An updated version of a recent classic, Cash & Guns allows you the pleasure of pointing a 9mm foam Glock directly between the eyes of your mother-in-law/boss/arch nemeses. Now with added super-powers and even more players, Cash & Guns has rarely been off our tables here at Thirsty Meeples.

Spyfall
Like a weekend in Magaluf, this Russian import is light on rules and heavy on fun.
At the start of every round all players secretly draw a card which gives them their persona. Typically this will list an occupation and a location (i.e. hospital & doctor). However, one player will have a card that simply says ‘Spy’. Their mission? To work out where they are! Here’s the rub: all other players are on the hunt for the spy, so only clever questioning and quick thinking will be able to save you


BEST TWO-PLAYER GAME

Three nominations for the ultimate one on one showdown.
Pagoda
Do you love Ticket To Ride, but wish it was, 1) a better two player game, and; 2) had a little bit more complexity to it? If you answered yes to either of the above, then Pagoda might be the game for you. Playable in around 45 minutes, Pagoda pits two opponents against each other in a head-to-head Pagoda construction challenge. Collecting cards will allow you to place coloured tiles and pillars, while the open-hand mechanic of the game lets you play to your own strengths while limiting your opponent’s opportunities. Variable points for building at different heights combined with a set of unlockable powers give Pagoda a depth to match its striking visual appearance. A lovely two player title.

Le Fantôme de l’Opéra
The spiritual successor to the wildly popular Mr Jack, Le Fantome has been a big hit since its release late this year. In this a-symmetrical board game, one player takes on the role of the phantom, with the other being the detective. A variable difficulty curve combined with a new map, character powers and victory conditions make Fantome de l’Opera much more than a simple reskin of an old classic. If deduction, lateral thinking and outwitting your opponent attract you, then Le Fantome de l’Opera is the title for you.

Province
Province is a two-player game set in a newly founded town in which you must strategically manage your resources and workers to build, complete goals, and score the most victory points. Players move their workers to generate resources (Labour and Coin) that are used to build the various Structures, which in turn effect resource generation. However, thanks to the game’s shared worker pool, your opponent can also move the workers, leaving you without the resources you need! As such, not only is province probably the tiniest worker placement game in existence, it also perfectly illustrates the ultimate inefficiencies of a capitalist economy. We suggest the designer should be put under surveillance.


BEST MICRO-GAME

Little games that pack a mighty punch. So many great micro-games can out last year. This was the hardest category to pin down.
One Night Ultimate Werewolf
We’ve all been there. You desperately need a game that not only fits in a shoe, but can cater for 10 players. What a conundrum! Happily, not only does One Night Ultimate Werewolf fit those criteria, it is also a fast fun and engaging hidden identity game in the vein of Mafia, and erm, Ultimate Werewolf. Do you hate it when you’re playing [insert hidden identity game here] and you end up as just a regular villager? Well, O.N.U.W. is the game for you as everyone gets a special power and identity. Yes, everyone is special. We blame the X-Factor. The game’s acute social commentary notwithstanding, One Night Ultimate Werewolf is a quick-to-learn party game that will be well received by newbies and experienced gamers alike.

Sail to India
All the depth of a Euro-game in a box small enough to fit in your parker pocket? Yes please! We know it was released in 2013, but we only got it this year (& we love it). Our favourite part of Sail to India is the more victory points you accrue, the more ‘Historians’ you have to employ to keep track of your deeds, This provides great balance and ensures most games go to the wire!

Age of War
Age of War is a quick-playing dice and cards game of conquest. Fourteen cards are laid out at the start of the game, each showing one castle and the symbols required to conquer this castle, with the symbols separated into battle lines. Each castle belongs to a clan, with some clans having only a single castle and some having up to four castles. A reliance on dice rolls for card acquisition mean that players have to remain flexible if they wish to conquer all before them. However, this randomness is more than counterbalanced by a well though-out rule set ensuring the game rewards sharp tactical play and execution. Accordingly, Japanese Feudal Warfare has now become our go-to method of solving all staff disagreements.


GAME THAT GAVE US THE BIGGEST LAUGH

We’ve looked silly and sounded silly but it felt so right :D
Heroes Wanted
Heroes Wanted is a tactical board game for 1-5 superhero hopefuls, attempting to fulfil their dreams of becoming a member of Zeta City’s exclusive crime fighting super team: The Champions of Zeta City. Self-conscious, witty and amusing, Heroes Wanted is the perfect remedy to apathy induced by the seemingly endless supply of superhero mulch currently being vomited out by Hollywood!

Lift it!
Creating a genuinely funny board game is a tough gig. Even rarer is a game which is inherently funny as opposed to having jokes tagged on the end. Lift it! manages this feat admirably. For the uninitiated, Lift it! involves players using small cranes (often attached to their heads) to build structures with duplo-esque components. This is difficult. Doing this without pulling a stupid face? Close to impossible.

Sushi Dice
Sushi Dice is a head to head dice rolling game in which opponents compete to create sushi dishes ordered by customers first. While rolling players have to keep an eye on their opponents dice to make sure no nasty skulls get rolled. What we love about Sushi Dice (as well as its tense gameplay) is that it comes with a bell. If you’ve ever wished you could emphasise your victory over an opponent by ringing a bell in their face, then needless to say, this is the title for you!


MEEPLE OF THE YEAR

Games with the coolest components.
Colt Express
Colt Express has a full 3d train as a board, complete with gun-slinging meeples and cacti. Need we say more?

The Great Heartland Hauling Co.
If you hanker after the simplicity of the open road, where a truck is a truck and a layby-restaurant bacon sandwich is breakfast, lunch and dinner then you’ll love the lorry meeples included in the Great Heartland!

The Doom That Came to Atlantic City
2014 was a good year for Lovecraft fans and amongst the plethora of Cthulu related games, the Doom that Came to Atlantic City stood out to owing to its charming Cthulu meeples!


MOST THEMATIC GAME OF THE YEAR

These were the games that made us feel like we really there man! Yee-haw, Arrr, Pew Pew.
Colt Express
Sorry, haven’t we been through this? The BOARD IS A BLOODY TRAIN.

Dead of Winter
Claustrophobic, unwelcoming and cold. These are just a few of the words used to describe our guru Nathan this year. Luckily those playing Dead of Winter didn’t notice, so immersed were they in in-game crises they faced. We loved DoW, because although on the surface the game is about zombies and survival, the most important elements are the social interactions and moral dilemmas the game throws up. Do you sacrifice an unpopular character for a moral boost? Is your friend’s suggestion that you should share some of your food and fuel with the zombies because they ‘look cold’ really in the best interests of the group? Truly only time will tell…

Star Wars: Imperial Assault
Dum, dum, dum. Dum-de-dum. Dum-de-dum. Imperial Assault may have only hit our shelves at the tail-end of 2014, but it has already earned a place in our hearts. A strong narrative campaign, coupled with high quality miniatures and a neat character development system makes for a truly immersive Star Wars experience. We even forgave it for including a model from the prequel films. Add soundtrack to taste and do not attempt to talk to the opposite sex for at least 30 minutes after exposure.


BEST NEW MECHANIC

Last year saw neat developments and twists in game mechanics, here are the three that impressed us the most.
Sheriff of Nottingham – Inspection
Bribes, nepotism and bluffing. 2014 was the year that UK politics came alive in board game form. We loved it!

Five Tribes - Meeple moving
What? You mean the workers are already down on the board? We must shuffle them around, lest they revolt!

Origin – Evolving
The centrepiece of one of our favourite games this year, Origin sees players ‘evolve’ their tribes across the board as they wander across continents. When evolving players must ensure that two characteristics of the pawn you choose are the same (height, colour or strength). This is a clever mechanic that has the added bonus of annoying any UKIP voters in your gaming group.


That’s it! Thanks for reaching the end! We’ll announce our winners in a couple of weeks and don’t forget to vote for your favourite game from 2014 - just follow this link.

Wednesday 15 October 2014

3 Ways to troll people with your new Dark Eldar (i.e. how to lose friends)

THE INTERNET HAS SPOKEN and the collective neckbeard wisdom is that the new DE codex has been *nerfed*.  This is wildly inaccurate as there are many subtle builds that can be made from the new book.  However for those of you who seek a more a more immediate WAAC approach read on....

1. Take Multiple detachments / formations from the Coven book for maximum LD shenanigans.



From pg 50: "Freakish spectacle: Enemy units within 12" of one or more units from this detachment suffer a -1 penalty to their LD value" 

[Games Workshop Design Studio, Haemonculus Covens, (GW: Nottingham, 2014)]

The keen eyed among you will note that this stipulates the specific detachment.  It stands to say then that if you have two Covenite detachments in your force, both will place the LD penalty on an opponent separately.  Even better, the formations also have this rule (referring you to pg 50 quoted above).  Combine with deepstriking misery armour and tank shocking venoms for maximum troll value.

NB if you want to double down on the fear, throw in some 'terrify' from the Eldar Codex.

2. Adopt a hard 'RAW' approach to Soul Fright.



Main codex pg 105: "At the end of the Shooting phase...unit...must make a Leadership test...Wounds cannot be allocated to models with the Fearless or ATSKNF special rules (any excess Wounds are lost)" 

[Games Workshop Design Studio, Codex: Dark Eldar, (GW: Nottingham, 2014)]

The important bit here is that only models with the fearless /ATSKNF special rule are unaffected. There are a few repercussions here.  

  •  Models with the 'Zealot' USR can be affected by the test.  The counter argument to this is that their unit automatically passes the 'Leadership' test imposed by Soul Fright.  To counter this, point out to your opponent that what it's asking them to do is take a 'Characteristic test' based on their Leadership.  Zealot means you automatically pass Morale tests; if GW wanted you to take a Morale test they would have specified.  Instead they used the capitalised form of Leadership, which has a specific game meaning.
  • If you follow the above, you'll also now see in a big unit with one Fearless model, only the individual model with the Fearless USR is immune.  The whole unit may automatically pass Morale, Pinning checks etc., but Fearless does not confer the USR itself to the rest of the unit.  Again, this is not a Morale test (which they automatically pass) but a Leadership characteristic test.  Hence a big blob of Guardsmen are vulnerable (even if they have a Zealot-priest). 
  • This also means that Daemons are vulnerable to Soul Fright, as are any units (i.e. Orks over 10 men) that "automatically pass Morale tests".  To state it one more time: Soul Fright doesn't ask for a morale test, it asks for a characteristic test based on "Leadership".  Say it enough times and you might start believing it yourself.
Here are the key passages from the BRB:

Morale Tests
"Morale represents the grit, determination, or (sometimes) plain stupidity of warriors in action. Morale checks are a specific kind of Leadership test."

Fearless
"Units containing one or more models with the Fearless special rule automatically pass Pinning, Fear, Regroup tests and Morale checks, but cannot Go to Ground and cannot choose to fail a Morale check due to the Our Weapons Are Useless rule. If a unit has Gone to Ground and then gains the Fearless special rule, all the effects of Go to Ground are immediately cancelled."

Zealot
"A unit containing one or more models with the Zealot special rule automatically passes Pinning, Fear and Regroup tests and Morale checks, but cannot Go to Ground and cannot choose to fail a Morale check due to the Our Weapons Are Useless rule. If a unit gains the Zealot special rule when it has Gone to Ground, all the effects of Go to Ground are immediately cancelled."

[Games Workshop Design Team, Warhammer 40K: The Rules (Digital Edition), (GW: Nottingham, 2014)]

One point it is worth noting here is that the Fearless special rule does talk about the 'unit' gaining fearless in the second highlighted section...

3. Use your Deepstriking Skimmers like Evil Drop Pods without fear!


This relies on a passage in the Skimmer rules of the BRB:
Moving Skimmers

"Skimmers can move over friendly and enemy models, but they cannot end their move on top of either.
Skimmers can move over all terrain, ignoring all penalties for difficult terrain and Dangerous Terrain tests . However, if a moving Skimmer starts or ends its move in difficult or dangerous terrain, it must take a Dangerous Terrain test. A Skimmer can even end its move over impassable terrain if it is possible to actually place the model on top of it, but if it does so it must take a Dangerous Terrain test.
If a Skimmer is forced to end its move over friendly or enemy models, move the Skimmer the minimum distance so that no models are left underneath it."
This combined with the fact that 1: Deep Striking units count as having moved in the shooting phase, and 2: when else would a skimmer be forced to end its move over friendly or enemy models? means that you can argue any DS skimmer which hits an enemy unit while scattering, does a Drop Pod and stops just short.

A WORD OF CAUTION

I do not recommend you use any of the above in games with friends/ever.  Doing so may make you a massive twat.
I will add more troll tactics to this page as they occur to me / the internet.
Enjoy!


Tuesday 14 October 2014

How to teach people board games / wargames

As a keen board gamer / wargamer this is something close to my heart.  Not only that, but I am soon to start working in the UK's first board games cafe / shop.  In light of this, I recently had a conversation with a friend who expressed the sentiment that 40k is simply too complex to teach to new players.  In answer to this I present the excellent guide below (farmed from Monopolatte on reddit):


My university has a very detailed exam rulebook...


"Hey, folks. I work as a games teacher at a board game café, and I thought I would stop by to cover some basic rules I try to follow when introducing players to a new game.

DO

  • Lead with the objective. As soon as you've set the tone with the game's theme, players should know what they're shooting for. When players know what their goals are, everything else falls into place. This will require some discretion: some games are straightforward enough that you can describe the whole goal in one sentence. Others aren't. If a game has a lot of stratified sources of points (ex. Terra Mystica), show some of the most important, and what the iconography for VP look like in the game. If the sources of points are impossible to describe without first detailing the mechanic (ex. Tigris & Euphrates), a quick explanation of the scoring will suffice (ex. "you win if you have the most points-- these coloured cubes-- at the end. Your final score will be equal to your weakest colour of points"). You can always be more specific later, but it's important to start with a focal point.
  • Talk about their possible actions early in the game. Actions- or moves, or whatever the game calls them- are the main thing a player will actually be doing. The earlier you can describe their moves, the better. If you're teaching Pandemic, going through the action card together is one of the best ways to introduce a new player. If you're teaching a game with complex actions which take a while to resolve, mention all available actions before talking about the specific protocols for each.
  • Describe the phases of a round in the order they happen. If an upkeep phase happens at the beginning of the turn, mention that, even if the actual demonstration can wait until you play it. People are good at grasping things that are presented in a linear way-- first this happens, then this happens, then this happens.
  • Delegate simple set-up tasks to the players. If the cards need to be shuffled, get the players to shuffle them while you talk. If each player needs five bronze cubes, let them take these cubes themselves while you explain what they are. It's important to be engaged, and especially if you're not a very charismatic person, having something to work on is a quick draw-in for your gaming table. It speeds up the set-up, too.
  • Engage with the game board. If the players have to go to the tavern, point to the tavern. If the players are collecting gold coins, hold up a gold coin. Board games are tactile, visual experiences, and you have to teach them in a way that accommodates that.
  • Answer questions-- or at least validate them. Players asking questions is good, because it means they're paying attention. If they ask you something you can naturally segue into, or that would be quick to describe, answer them right away. If it's too big a question to address until you cover some other things, validate their line of thought: "That's a great question! Yes, it happens sometimes in combat. I'm going to talk about that part of the game in a couple of minutes, so hold on and I'll get back to it. Anyway, the third thing you can do..."
  • Your homework. Understand a game fully before you take it to the table. Practice in the mirror if you have to. You want to make this as painless as possible, because if you're not better than the rulebook, there's no point in the players listening to you. Consider checking online video tutorials if you need help figuring out how to present the game-- whether you end up mirroring them, or avoiding mistakes they make.

DON'T

  • Talk about exceptions before you're done explaining the rule. This is really distracting, and makes the whole process more complicated. If there's a role/race-specific power that changes the rule, don't even mention it until the end. Player-specific exceptions should always wait until the rest of the game is clear.
  • Ignore the theme. You can have the best explanation in the world, but if the game seems boring? Why bother. Unless you're playing a theme-centric game like Betrayal: House on the Hill, theme doesn't usually take much effort to establish-- but it has to be addressed, because it's the spice rub on the meat of the game. Sometimes it helps objectives make sense, too: inLast Will, I can't imagine the disengagement of knowing that you have to be the first to spend all your money without knowing the thematic explanation why.
  • Multi-task. If you want players' full attention, you should be giving them yours. It's hard enough to quarantine cell phones; you should have the television off and look as engaged and interested as you want your players to be.
  • Forget the big picture. When you're talking about actions, you should be drawing parallels back to the objectives of the game. Not every What needs to come with a Why, but it helps when you can work it in.
  • Cover every possible strategy. Not every eventuality has to be accounted for. There are a lot of games that offer many paths to victory, and you should do what you can to chip away at their beginner's handicap. It's helpful, for example, being reminded that in King of Tokyo, it can be dangerous to attack the monster in Tokyo if your health is low. It's less helpful hearing every possible problem you'll face in Arkham Horror, and the best strategies to escape for each role. You want the player to have enough information to be competitive, but not so much that they're overwhelmed with distracting information.
  • Get frustrated with slower players. Not everyone is on their 32nd playthrough of Dominant Species. Playing a board game together means describing the game at the speed of the lowest common denominator. If your "modern Euro worker placement classic" is too much for a newbie, maybe you should have lead them through a couple gateway games first. We all started somewhere!
That's all the general tips I have. Remember: every game is different, and every time you teach a game, you get a little better. I'm going to use this last line to shamelessly plug our café, which I work at as a server. If you're in the Ottawa region, feel free to ask for Kurt. :) Happy gaming.
Tl;dr: Okay, so you can talk about things. Like. You can talk about action points. Oh. The game is- the game is about- it's set in the present, and you're teaching games. You have to talk about games, so you can talk about action points sometimes. Except the cleric, who can't because it's a weekday but you guys aren't playing the cleric.
(This post is an x-post from /r/HelpMeExplainRules, which could use some more love!)"

(Taken from http://www.reddit.com/r/boardgames/comments/2csl51/how_to_explain_games_a_guide_from_a_professional/)